As for someone who burnt-out of a job, a passion, and a career; I can tell you how deeply burnout can impact your mental health, emotional health, physical health, your Coworkers, Teams, Organization, and Customers/Clients! During my Trainings, I often share The 5 Types of Employees and one of them is “The Grouch”. Typically, “Grouches” aren’t hired, they become a Grouch over time… the hard part is, it happens gradually with you, I, and us remembering the professional good times, the policies and tasks we were used to and good at, the bosses and vision we agreed with, and the customers/clients being grateful for the way we delivered services. One day while I was in the midst of burning-out, I looked up and I was RIGHT about EVERYTHING I was complaining about… but, so WRONG about how often I said it, who I was saying it to, and how I disconnected from my Team, my Staff, my Clients/Customers, and my passion!
In other videos and blogs, I discuss the Formula to best Lead Through Burnout. Today, I want to share the 6 BIG Mistakes I made that led to my Burnout and what you can do instead! So, what are they?
Flick the Wrist!
This was my first and biggest mistake; as it unknowingly robbed me of connections with my Leadership Peers, Employees, and those we were serving. Remember, organizational change may frustrate you but your connections with your People are priceless and possess the magic to carry you through some very tough times!
Flicking my wrist refers to me flicking the door of my office shut! As professionals, we’re all proud of our first office… and the more you move up, the nicer the office gets… and the farther away you get from your People. When I was first promoted, I had a major Open-Door Policy and although I believe in it; everything operates best in moderation. When your door is ALWAYS open, “The Stop-By” is real… as you have Employees and Team Members stopping by to say hello, with fires, and that 2-minute conversation that turns into an hour… have this happen three times and that’s half your day and now you’re taking work home with you to complete and catch up at night! In my Trainings, I discuss how to protect your doorway with a very simple saying that keeps you “Willing & Available” and a Leader capable of completing your own tasks! Keep in mind, the toughest person to protect your doorway from will be your Work-Bestie… and we all have them!
My mistake started and grew when I became frustrated with a Leadership change, the new way of doing things, and I flicked my wrist to shut my door and never opened it back up! I was a Therapist leading a group of amazing counselors and administration; some of which were new due to change. My closed-door during sessions made sense, but during the rest of the workday… my Team assumed I was unavailable, didn’t want to be interrupted, and to my surprise, as the months passed; when I came out to make copies, go the bathroom, or make my rounds to say hello… I felt like a stranger in a place I’d worked for fifteen years. I didn’t know some of the clients, staff was surprised to see me, although I had the skill, I didn’t have the connection to help in certain situations, and I was so repulsed by the new feeling and culture of the building… I increased my flicking of the wrist!
Therefore, if you’re a Leader… what’s your policy on open or closed office doors? Can they be closed for dedicated deep work during certain times of day or week? Does the Team know? What’s an agreed-upon emergency that opens any door?
Protect Your Doorway!
As I mentioned, many Leaders want to be of service and have a difficult time protecting their professional doorway! With the amount of Hybrid and Remote-Work… this mistake and advice may also work for your partner at home, your kids, or your work-bestie calling your phone to vent about that last virtual company call!
Here’s what I say and what you can say when someone knocks and asks for your help or thinks it’s story-time, “Hi ___, what’s going on or how can I help? I have about 5 or 10 minutes and if we can do it in that timeframe, great! If not, I’m really involved in this and need to get this completed and we can schedule time later today or in the week.”. As they share and it runs over… “I’m sorry, I really need to get back to this and get this completed. I’m available tomorrow at ___ or Thursday at ___. Which one works best for you?”.
Feel free to translate this into your own words; however, it’s the flow that matters most. This statement shows you’re willing, able, capable of protecting your time and your doorway, offering more time if necessary, and your Coworker or Employee gets to exhibit great Leadership Skills to show up at the time they selected!
Home Issues at Work!
Let’s be real… we all have lives outside of work and sometimes it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. The fact we all have cell phones means your relationship, your kids, your family, and the drama that comes with it all is now EVERYWHERE you are! It’s hard to do your job while trying to ignore or respond to 10 pages of argumentative-texts, kid’s requests and emergencies, aging parents, and I could go on, but you get the point! Or, you’re working from home and everything I mentioned is literally occurring right in front of your face!
When You’re Physically in the office:
Many years ago, I went through a divorce, and it was the most emotionally trying time of my life… and having my cell phone at work was not helping. Therefore, are there times when your phone can be turned off or, at the very least, outside of your view for a bit? Currently, I work from home… and to professionally ignore texts, notifications, and simply refrain from scrolling… my phone goes to the other room for an hour or so to allow for deep work, important, or undesired task completion!
When You’re Remote and At Home:
I just shared about keeping your door open… in this case, perhaps there’s a designated closed-door time throughout the day or work week. My wife also works from home, and when her door is closed, I don’t even think of entering her office to say hello, ask a question, etc. Funny thing, my home office doors are glass, and when my doors were shut, she wasn’t coming in. I later asked why she wasn’t coming to visit and say “Hi” during the workday for our many day-time hugs and kisses. She told me, “Your door is always closed”. I was blown away… I was keeping them closed to shut out noise from the kids (as my office is on the first floor), but she thought I wanted privacy! The power of a closed door… any type of closed-door… even glass closed doors is real… Be Mindful!
Increasing Workload!
This Mistake was a BIG ONE! As my workload increased, I felt all my responsibilities were being placed in the High Priority/Handle Now bucket. You may be feeling the same way. The truth is, my boss never said my list of responsibilities were all High Priority/Handle Now’s… I interpreted it, believed it, made myself the victim, and therefore unconsciously justified and rationalized my grouchiness… and intensified my burn-out!
What I know now… and what I’m encouraging you to do is… request time with your boss to share your love (or like) of your job, your desire to do your job, adapt to changes, and be a team player; while listing your priorities, sharing your suggested solutions of how to best prioritize your ever-growing responsibilities, attack them, timeframe them, ask what they like about your plan, and anything they’d fine-tune.
Never assume your Boss or Team knows all you’re doing and now, your boss can have a better understanding of all you do. The truth is, everyone and every department is worried about themselves and every person and department believes their job is the hardest and they’re most busy. It’s not personal, it’s simply human nature! Once your boss knows your list, they cannot unknow! Once they know and approve your plan of action, you’ll still have a lot to do; but can be prioritized better. Lastly and most importantly, once your boss Knows & Approves or Knows & Fine-Tunes your list… now you have proof and protection!
Feelings Matter!
When I was burning out and finally burnt to a crisp… I was sharing my thoughts and feelings with all the wrong people. I vented to Coworkers I started with, to other burnt-out Leaders, to new staff… but never to someone above me who could actually help me professionally or personally. You would have thought a therapist would have known better!
Therefore… practice gratitude for the life you get to live, the health you get to enjoy, Gossip Good about where you are, what you get to do for a living, and finally vent like a Leader to Leaders who can actually help you instead of telling you how right you are; sending you back to your work, the office, or home more righteously wrong in your behaviors!
Vacations Matter!
During my Burnout, I was fortunate to work in an Alternative School that operated off a school schedule. If you don’t know, that means… it was glorious to enjoy late-starts, early dismissals, holidays off, Winter Breaks, Spring Breaks, and yes… we had some time off in the summer! That said, vacations matter as they can be that well need light at the end of the tunnel. I knew time-off and “Fun” was coming and it allowed me to hold on just a bit longer to grind through the tough times. That’s why it was such a surprise when “The Schedule” all of the sudden lost its appeal and was no longer appealing!
My point is, vacations matter and be sure you’re enjoying and celebrating your life… whether it’s a cruise, a trip to Europe, the beach, or a Staycation on your couch, elbow-deep in a bag of chips, binge-watching your favorite show! However, when your vacations or time away from work is no longer satisfying or holding off burnout… the writing is on the wall. As a Leader, it’s your job to proactively share your feelings, share suggested solutions, inquire about options, and either stay or leave as an asset; not a liability. Remember, enhancing the quality of your Work/Life Harmony matters and is a form of Leadership… Be Mindful!
You now know my 6 BIG Mistakes that led to Burnout, what Mistake stood out the most for you? Why? What homework are you giving yourself to enhance not only your Leadership & Work/Life Harmony, but also that of those you’re Leading?
“As a Leader, it’s your job to proactively share your feelings, share suggested solutions, inquire about options, and either stay or leave as an asset; not a liability… Be Mindful!” – Andre Young
Written by: Andre Young
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