“Are you hurt or are you injured?”

In the 90’s, there was a great movie that depicted the lure of college football and athletics. In a great scene… a player was hit hard and lying on the ground… the coach calmly comes over, bends down to one knee, and quietly asks the player “Are you hurt or are you injured?”. The player is confused and asks the difference. The coach responds, “If you are hurt, you can still play. If you’re injured, you can’t”. The player had to make a decision… popped up to his feet and played on. This one scene is an epic description of life, YOUR life, and your relationships!

No athlete gets to play the sport they love healthy. You will inevitably encounter bumps, bruises, and pain that will linger; making it hard to always be at your best. Anyone can do good or even great when they are healthy and at their best. How will you play when you are not at your best? No mother or father gets to live each day at their best. No CEO or employee walks through the doors on top of their game every day. No husband/wife/boyfriend/or girlfriend gets to make it through their relationship without the hard hits of life… some hurting you and some injury you to your core. But will you get up, get back in the game, and give all you have? You may be asking yourself… how do I do that?

First and foremost… YOU must want to! There has to be a love, passion, and fight for what you do, who you are with, what you have, and why you want it. After you have determined that you want to move forward and get in the game… YOU must decide to give it your all. This is the hard part… you must decide to give it your all regardless of the outcome of the game, life, or your partner’s current efforts. Peace will be found in your willingness and ability to do YOUR best. Your best will be found in your decision to “live right”, understand, communicate, and EVOLVE.

What does “live right” mean? You know right from wrong. When you are hurt, tired, and frustrated… it becomes easy to justify, rationalize, and minimize your retaliation and negativity. You know right from wrong and an eye for and eye will only leave everyone blind. Simply “live right” and do the right thing; focusing on the long-term gain, not the short-term reward of striking a blow for your cause.

Understand the people around you and close to you. Who are they, what have they been through, and why do they believe what they believe. This will never excuse them of their acts against you, but allows for deeper understanding and ways to move forward.

Communicate your needs, wants, and your why. It also imperative to positively communicate safe guards and boundaries to protect yourself and your relationships from those big hits (See my chapter on The Relationship Board Meeting, in my upcoming book 7 Ways to Love). Communicate love and care for yourself daily… giving yourself the gift of acceptance and power over your own life.

Lastly, EVOLVE by being an active learner of the game you are playing. If you are a boss… learn how to lead… not just manage. If you are in a relationship… actively and continually learn about your partner, relationships, men, women, and the transitional periods that come in long-term relationships. If you are an athlete… stay focused and learn the game you love. Ladies and gentlemen… enjoy the journey and perfect your craft; allowing you to EVOLVE into the best version of yourself in every role you play as an individual, partner, parent, professional, sibling, son/daughter, etc. Enjoy your evolution and share your thoughts at www.facebook.com/menevolvingnow/  Happy EVOLVING!!!

written by: Andre Young

Skip to content