What does it mean to connect with another person and why is it so important? It means to establish a bond, to join, or to link together. This becomes so important in life and in business; most people want to feel connected to another person, group, or purpose. Of course people will spend time with, do business with, and in this day in age have intimate relations with people they are not especially connected to, but having a special connection can magnify the experience and create long lasting positive impacts. Connecting can be as simple as a smile or the process I will share with you today
Here are my 4 C’s of connecting with others: Compliment, Common Ground, Care, Converse. COMPLIMENTS are great! Have you ever had a person you just met compliment your outfit, watch, shoes, anything? How does it make you feel? It disarms you, releases tension, and boosts self-esteem. It also lets you know that the other person is perceptive and not all about themselves (usually). The compliment doesn’t always have to be about the person…. As it could be misinterpreted as attraction. In meeting a new employer or prospective client you can say, “Wow, your company is amazing. You must have put so much work and effort in building your company to where it is now. Thank you for seeing me”. In these two sentences, you have compliment what is very important to them and paid homage to their efforts and success.
Next, finding COMMON GROUND within conversation, not only extends the conversation, but increase the bond and likelihood of them remembering you. Asking questions and finding common ground in hobbies, sports team, stocks etc. There will be many be any clues on their person and environment that may assist you…. Are they wearing their favorite sports team shirt or hat, a ring, pictures in their home or office, or mentioning something in conversation? If you cannot find one, at least be willing to learn something new. I met a gentleman that was a history buff. I enjoyed history but failed it twice in school! I could not and would not try to exchange wits with him, but asked questions about the book he mentioned and learned a great deal as he was excited to share with me. Events such as this make people feel good about themselves, excited to engage, and you get to learn as well.
All of this is pointless if people don’t think you really CARE. It’s so important to be genuine and care about the individuals you come in contact and attempt to connect with. Now there are some people out there that can really mask themselves and seduce with ill intent. The universe will take care of them, but for the most part, people know when you are only in it for yourself.
Lastly, learn how to CONVERSE with people. This is a class that is not taught in college. I remember taking an intro speech class… I guess it works as I am now a Life Enrichment Speaker, but there was no class in carrying a conversation! A conversation should be like a tennis match… a thought our questions is lobbed in the air and it gets volleyed back and forth with each person responding and expanding the topics. In my training of interns and employees, I like to focus on the art of question development. Have a list of interesting thoughts and questions in your head that are ready to go at a moment’s notice based on your conversation, experience, and observations in the experience; leading to an impressive and memorable connection. I encourage to you utilize my 4 C’s and share your experiences with me at www.facebook.com/menevolvingnow or www.twitter.com/dremenandwomen . Happy EVOLVING!!!
written by: Andre Young
