Should you fully accept your partner for all of their positives and quirks? Acceptance can be the best and hardest gift to give ourselves and our partners. Typically, men meet their partner and never want them to change. Women meet their partner and wish to tweak them just a bit. The same quirks that were lovable in the beginning, become quite the irritation in the middle and end. Most of us can handle the big issues that come up in relationships; it’s the small things that have built up day-to-day that chip away at love and intimacy. Therefore, it becomes monumentally important to accept and love our partner for all that they are. Notice I said accept and love, not like and enjoy.
Love is a verb; an action word describing your day-to-day choice to commit and respect your relationship. Finding a way to like and enjoy your partner’s quirks are a part of this. What are the positives of your partner’s quirks? What are your quirks’? What would you like your partner to accept, like and enjoy about you? How can this apply to other people in your life: your children, parents, boss, friends, siblings, etc.? My wife is OCD and very particular about her things and items in our house. I’d be lying if I said, at times, it doesn’t drive me crazy. However, she is the most efficient, organized, and perfect woman I have ever met. Our home is amazing, everything has its place, and it’s a wonderful environment for our family and friends! My quirk is quite different. I pride myself on being a motivated, positive, and intelligent man. However, I struggle to learn and pay attention to things I don’t care about. This can pose quite an issue when learning about things in our home; deferring them back to my wife. Love makes us responsible for accepting our partners. However, love also implies that we will identify and balance our quirks to make our relationships the best they can be.
I do believe there are actions that are beyond acceptance. If your partner’s quirks, or your quirks, are emotionally, physically, and/or verbally abusive and damaging to your spirit, overall health, and the relationship it may be time to address these issues. This may be different for each of us as we all have various degrees of tolerance and beliefs. When acceptance is no longer possible, it’s important to examine the entire situation and everyone’s role, seek objective assistance: faith based, professional, or objective friends, discuss with your partner (if safe), and develop plans to move forward. Happy EVOLVING!!! Share your thoughts and comments at www.facebook.com/menevolvingnow or www.twitter.com/dremenandwomen