Everyone wants the relationship of their dreams. Whether you are in a relationship right now, just got out of one, or about to be in one… you want to have the best relationship you can imagine. The problem becomes… you may be too focused on what YOU imagine! Once the lust and newness wears off… which it has to… it’s you, them and life staring you in the face. The have-to’s of the day are there at every turn and it’s easy to become busy, bored, and frustrated. Why frustrated… because you have needs, they have needs, and it’s amazing how you will tend to focus on either everyone else’s needs or the picture in your head of how YOU want and need things to be. In my book, 7 Ways to Love, I dedicate a chapter to Teamwork Makes the Dream Work. It will take a couple’s togetherness to make your dream relationship come true. So how do you do it?
You must first realize and understand what is on or is not on your partner’s plate. What I am about to explain is simple, but often overlooked and by the time it’s addressed… either World War III has ensued, someone has checked out of the relationship, or the relationship is over. Ready? Guys this is for you… Most women will either assume the role of or be thrusted into the role of Superwoman. This happens slowly and in time… so many women assume the mental stress of the household, the relationship, and so many of the task that come with it. Their plates are full, overflowing, and dripping onto the floor of your relationship… and you are slipping on it! The question becomes… How can you take some things off their plate? It can be as simple as pitching in around the house… grocery shopping, doing the dishes… REGULARLY, cleaning the house, and having your designated area to clean/organize, transporting the kids, etc. These are ways to alleviate some of the stress she feels and provide her less stress, time to breathe, and have more energy to give back to herself and you. Ladies… this will only work if you let him help you. If you need things done YOUR way or chastise him about the way it was done… instead of appreciating that it was done… he will stop and you will go backwards.
Ladies this is for you…. As full as your plate is, your partner’s may be full too; full of work stuff, but empty in regards to the most important. Men would appreciate you taking things off of his plate… but will respond so much more to you putting appreciation and intimacy on it. He wants to be valued for his willingness and ability to protect and provide for you. That’s why taking duties off his plate may not mean as much… because he wants to do for you. As men age, they tend to have less friends than you do, suffer in silence because boys weren’t taught to value and share their feelings, and are not ogled by women to the extent women are ogled by men. Yes… your man wants to know you still think he’s hot and you want him. Boys will have sex with anyone. Men want to have sex with their woman… a step further… men wanted to be wanted by their woman. Fill his plate with acknowledgment, appreciation, and “Thank yous” for what he does for you and the family, approach him with intimacy (doesn’t always have to be sex), and be excited when he comes for you.
You two are the only people you are supposed to get these gifts from… so what are you waiting for. Lastly, communicate and ask what each other wants and needs. Be careful not to love lazily… only giving what you are comfortable with, what you think they deserve, and/or what you think is best… ask, apply, and enjoy each other! The ultimate goal of your interaction with your partner is love and build up. Enjoy your evolution and Happy EVOLVING!!!
written by: Andre Young
