You Evolving Now is a global social club that focuses on positivity, healthy living, personal development, self improvement and life enrichment to help you improve yourself and get more our of life. We are based in Berks County and work with loacl colleges like Kutztown and Alvernia!

I'm Andre Young, speaker, author, and Founder of You Evolving Now. I worked as a Mental Health Therapist for 19 years, been an employee, business owner, and self-employed, played sports at every level from high school to professional, lived in inner-city row homes to  luxury homes, been married, divorced, and remarried, written 4 books, have four amazing kids, a wonderful wife… and the truth is… no matter where you go, people are the same as they are different and most would like to EVOLVE Professionally and Personally, but are too busy being their defintion of "Busy" to do so. Let You Evolving Now meet your people and Leadership Team where they are; on-site, at work or at school, to enhance leadership and work/life harmony for companies, employees, teams, or students with speaking engagements and leadership programs!

EVOLVE your Company, your Employees, Teams, Students, and your Life with You Evolving Now!!!

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No matter how great a leader you are… a great leader at your job or in your personal life… no one is exempt from the feeling of frustration! We are human beings with a wide array of emotions and no one gets to be or lead happy all of the time. There are many things professionally and personally that can and will cause us frustration and negatively impact our leadership and work/life harmony if we let it: changes at work, a difficult employee, a difficult boss, a troubled marriage, parenting issues, or simply the “Busy” of our lives! So, what to do? The answer is E.P.E.!

Evaluate

To evolve our leadership and work/life harmony we must be able to manage our feeling of frustration and it starts with being able to evaluate our thoughts, feelings, what happened, why it happened, and what’s needed to move forward. I must admit, I struggled mightily with this years ago! When I used to get angry or frustrated it would stay with me for days (three days to be exact) and negatively impacted the people around me… adding to the negative tornado of life, relationships, and my professional world. I only found this out when I decided to EVALUATE!

On day one, I was self-righteously in my anger, hurt, and frustration… behaving as a victim. As a leader, when you are at this point, it’s easy to lash out or disconnect; harming your leadership and the people that are following!

On day two, I was able to step outside of myself and identify the other person (employee, boss, co-worker, significant other, or child) as a human being… a “good human being”! It’s helpful to believe that most people are inherently good people… even the “Grouches” at work and in our lives are good people, but have had some awful things happen to them. This belief triggers a Frustration-Changing Thought… “The person I’m frustrated with is not a horrible person or the devil bursting out of the underbelly of the underworld. So, what would make him/her say or do the things they said or did?”. This purposeful thought changes everything! It propels you out of Self-Righteous Mode into Perspective Mode. What points does the other person have? What is your employee, boss, partner, child, etc. actually right about?

On day three, I was ready to look at how I acted and what I needed to improve. This is where the mock conversations you have in your head begin to focus on fixing the situation; turning frustration into learning, and growth!

This process was enlightening for me, but the problem was… it took me three days. During those three days I was disconnected, unavailable, and although I was thinking and growing; I most likely looked upset to the other person or people. Therefore, when I was ready to approach and fix… the other person was hurt, disconnected, or sometimes even more angry. The trick is to collapse the time-frame! What used to take me three days; now takes me minutes. I encourage you to evaluate quickly using what you just learned so you can get to the next step of Planning!

Plan

An important aspect of leadership and work/life harmony is planning for what we want and what we don’t want. Now that you understand your frustration and more about the people, organization, culture, or relationship you’re in… it’s time to accept it! This is the first part of planning. Accepting doesn’t mean you have to stay in it… but it is a complete acceptance of what it is. You know the type of company you work for, the employees you have, the type of boss you work for, the person you’re with intimately, your kids. Stop falling into a trap of “Shoulds” and what you think you “Deserve”… that has nothing to do with reality; only with how you’d like it to be. So, the question becomes, what’s the truth about who or what is frustrating you (the good and the bad)? Accept it for what it is!

Now that you’ve accepted it… are you going to stay or leave? If you choose to stay; stop complaining about what is. You’ve accepted the benefit of staying (whatever that may be… a safe paycheck, a great dental plan, a house to live in, etc.). The best thing to do is construct a plan of growth. What will you do to help you to Smile, Do Your Best, and Be Your Best… consistently raising your value and winning each day!

If you choose to leave… what would be the point of arguing or being frustrated any longer. Enjoy the fact that the countdown is on; while continuing to Smile, Do Your Best, and Be Your Best. You never know when paths may cross again and it’s always best to part on the high-road!

Execute

This is the hard part! Through this process, you’ve become more self-aware, enhanced your personal leadership… now it’s time to execute and follow-through! This is the part where most people fail and leaders excel. Whether you are evolving your frustration professionally or personally…  you have evaluated, planned, and now its time to grow and stay or grow and leave.

Most people who choose to stay at the job or in the relationships will make momentary changes, but eventually return to their base-line. This is not acceptable… as a leader it’s your job to create a new base-line, a new standard, and a new level of expectation for yourself. Eventually, as you raise your value… if the company or relationship cannot or will not rise with you… you have your answer and know what you need to do!

Most people who choose to leave… don’t. Whether the job search becomes too much, the preparation too daunting, or the thought of leaving a comfortable lifestyle or relationship is just too much to think about right now, and a million other reasons. Following-Through will sometimes be the hardest to do, but can be the most rewarding… if and only if you have evolved, become more self-aware, know what you are looking for, your “Why” is greater than the pain of transition, and you are willing to be consistent in your evolution as a leader!

Frustration is a part of life… it’s inevitable. Use it to evolve your leadership and work/life harmony to be the leader you are capable of and a leader you will be proud of!

“Following-Through with a big life transition will sometimes be the hardest to do, but can be the most rewarding… if and only if you have evolved, become more self-aware, know what you are looking, your “Why” is greater than the pain of transition, and you are willing to be consistent in your evolution as a leader!”    – Andre Young

written by: Andre Young

Thank You and enjoy your EVOLUTION! Download my FREE app, YEN Push! Remember to allow notifications and EVOLVE professionally and personally! Get You Evolving Now to impact your Company, Athletics, and School by calling the contact number above!

EVOLVE your Life, your Relationships, and YOU with Andre Young's powerful life-changing books!!!

EVOLVE your relationship with the best relationship book out there! These are the 7 things to make or break relationships. YOU do them and your relationship can get better. You both do them... it can get great! If your relationship does not work, 7 Ways to Love provides you peace of mind; knowing you did everything you were supposed to do. After the pain and tears... peace of mind is priceless.

Curiosity didn't kill the cat... it saved the relationship! You are in a relationship with yourself, your partner, your children, co-workers, etc; Stay curious and learn more with a compilation of quotes and questions you've never even thought to ask... ending with do you know your partner's answers, your kid's?

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