In a society where most people are addicted to immediate gratification and adults and children can use a hand-held device to stream endless mind-numbing wants like an IV drip into their life… Men must give boys permission to say “No”! Many years ago, I remember walking my oldest son to the park. He was eight at the time and for some reason we began talking about the girls in his class. He shared what he thought of girls and relationships; I remember the moment being so surreal. He mentioned one of his female classmates wanted to kiss him. As a parent, these conversations never happen like they do on TV. You are in the middle of your life… either in the pleasures of your day or the have-to’s of your day and BAM!!!! All of the sudden you are in the middle of a conversation you were not expecting, ready for, or perhaps prepared for.
I remember asking him, “Do you want to kiss her?”. He was unsure and was quiet as we walked. At that moment, it became suddenly clear that he needed and would benefit from permission NOT TO. “Son, you don’t have to kiss her if you don’t want to”. “Son, you don’t have to kiss her if you’re not ready”. “Son, chase your dreams… not girls… and most importantly “Just because you can… doesn’t mean you should”.
There will be enough peer pressure from their friends, young ladies, music, and media encouraging your sons, grandsons, nephews, etc. to engage in intimate relationships before they are emotionally and psychologically ready to do so. As men… it is your duty to give boys permission to say “No”.
Looking back, what do you wish you could have said “No” to and waited a bit longer for until you were more mature and ready? You cannot change the past… it wouldn’t necessarily make things better anyway… only different. However, your experiences are invaluable and the lessons you’ve endured are jewels to be passed along to the boys and young people around you. Be aware… when you pass it… the young cannot see or fully understand the value of the jewel… but will thank you later as they will eventually remember your effort. Thank you for caring for our boys! Share your thoughts at www.facebook.com/menevolvingnow/ Happy EVOLVING!!!
written by: Andre Young
