“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!”. You may remember this saying from your childhood… and it goes down as one the most untrue sayings of all time. Of course, there are some very thick-skinned individuals out there… and the premise of the saying is powerful. Don’t worry about what others say… everyone will have an opinion and have something to say; don’t let it break you, ignore it, and succeed. Easier said than done! Those sticks and stones hurt, leave bruises, and sometimes scars. Those words hurt even more, leave emotional and psychological scars that may never heal and can ring in your spirit for a lifetime.
If you tell someone they are ugly and unlovable long enough, they will eventually believe it. Vice versa, if you tell someone they are beautiful and lovable long enough they will believe it. There is power in your words, so chose them carefully. Hurt and anger are scary emotions that usually bring out the worst in your thoughts, your words, and your behavior. One terrible word or phrase can change you, someone else, your relationship, and your life forever… so let your tongue be wise. In my profession, I cannot tell you how many young people, adults, and elderly that need an emotional and psychological hug as they carry the weight of things said to them by family, friends, teachers, significant others, etc.; impacting them today personally and in relationships. I’m sure without thinking too hard, you have a story or two of your own.
You are human and will experience frustration, hurt, and anger… in those moments take a pause, breathe, and EVOLVE. There will be a number of things you could say; perhaps nothing said is better for the moment. In our fast-paced response or die world… just because your phone rings, dings, or chimes does not mean you are obligated to respond right away, engage in an argument, or hit “Send”. The next time you absolutely must send that text try this… the time it takes you to write a scathing text… take that same amount of time, double it, reread it, edit it (taking out all of the foul words, your assumptions, and put-downs, address the positives of the person and your relationship, your concern regarding the issue, ending with a “I hope we can resolve this…”, and then hit send.
Face-to-Face sticks and stones are hard to navigate… the truth is, it takes two to argue… do your best not to be one of the two. Stay tuned to my upcoming Blog, The Positive Sandwich! People are people and YOU will have your moments… what will you do TODAY to help heal the bruises you’ve caused? What will you do today to make someone feel as special you’d like to feel? Enjoy your evolution and share your thoughts at www.facebook.com/menevolvingnow/ Happy EVOLVING!!!
written by: Andre Young
