The beginning of a new venter, era in your life, and relationship is exhilarating! Sometimes to the point of paralysis, caution, or intoxication. You may become swept away with the allure of an individual, the endless possibilities, and the bliss of newness! Yes… it’s a wonderful time to cherish, remember, and build upon. However, and important thing to note… most people aren’t lying to you.
What do I mean by that? Many times, you are blinded by the bliss of the beginning… In the beginning, it’s important to pay attention to people’s behaviors, thoughts, and actions when with you and not with you. Most people are not lying to you…. When intoxicated, you hear what you hope to hear and see only the parts you are attractive to. 5 years into the relationship, you may be upset you’re partner doesn’t do the dishes, doesn’t exercise, works too much, etc… chances are they did all of those things before, were not lying, and haven’t changed all that much!
The middle stage of your relationship will bring all of the fun! This is the part where people tend to be the most honest (either in words or actions), but no one is being heard! Partner’s either explain their wants and needs in a variety of ways… healthy, unhealthy, arguing, disconnect, in daily conversation, mixed messages… you name it! During my time as a Marriage counselor, it was always sad to see a relationship end and later hear the partner recount all of the times their partner asked, requested, argued, or beg for change or their needs met. Of course, there is a positive and EVOLVED way to vocalize and request your needs… and even more important to inspect your expectations. Are they realistic, fair, and or doable regarding who your partner is, their beliefs, their abilities, etc.
Listening for the truth applies to all areas of your life… typically, your boss is not lying to you when they pull you into their office, write you up, or discipline you. Your friends are not lying to you when they are upset and hold you accountable. Your parents are not lying to you when they share their concerns, but can no longer force you to do something. The EVOLVED ear chooses to hear through and beyond anger, defensiveness, and ego… allowing inner-self to develop and grow willingness to meet the needs of those around you. It’s amazing how much you will receive when you see the truth, meet other’s deepest need, and decide to live your best life. Happy EVOLVING!!! Share your thought at www.facebook.com/menevolvingnow/
written by: Andre Young
