Understand the Opposition – Andre Young
My final step to success… Understanding the Opposition! This will require the most restraint, dedication, and mindfulness. From a business perspective, an entirely new idea or concept is rare. Therefore, there are a lot of people and businesses that do what you do. We can choose to be angry, upset, and negative or choose to understand and learn from the opposition. What is their point of view, their process, their successes and failures, their “Why”; applying them to our expertise and allowing us to EVOLVE.
IN RELATIONSHIPS, if understanding and communication is removed, the one you love can appear to be or become your fiercest opponent. My wife and I have been blessed with a wonderful opportunity to build a home from the ground up. After a divorce and years of financial struggle, this house was to represent a sense of accomplishment, freedom, success, and a brand new life! However, with two independent alpha-individuals, from different backgrounds, and beliefs the process proved to be tough experience. We argued, disconnected, and hurt each other’s feelings; all the while people were telling us how lucky we were. It’s hard for people to sympathize with you when you may be achieving their version of success. Understanding had to enter the picture for us to rebound, reconnect, and move forward. In order to understand, we must first listen and observe what is being said and unsaid. Believe me, if you only pay attention and react to what is being said, instead of thinking and/or asking why it’s being said…. This will not work.
During the moving in process, I became frustrated and saw my wife as rigid, controlling, and the opposition and she saw me as disinterested and uninvolved. What I chose to understand was: I have been married, divorced, built a home in the past, have three children, and was near forty years old. I also understood my wife is OCD and seeks perfection; add stress, a new home, etc. and get the perfect storm! This was her first home, never been married, no children, and thirtyish. I remember being in my wife’s position as a younger man and all the things I thought, felt, and believed. This understanding did not console or excuse all things we said during this that time, but understanding allowed me to see my wife as a loving person going through a phase of life. I realized the biggest gift I could give her, was to let her have her first, interfere when it really impeded on me as a person, and let her enjoy the experience. The biggest gift she gave me was to let it be my second-time through and honor the experience and knowledge that comes with it. Who and how would you benefit from understanding better?