Remember the old saying, “Stick and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you”? It’s amazing how something so untrue ever became so famous. The truth is words are all powerful! The words you speak to yourself and others have the power to build up or tear down. Words hurt and can leave longer-lasting scars than any physical injury can. I was in the store and witnessed a parent with their three children and overheard the parent exclaiming, “you’re not special… who do you think you are?”. I know… parents have their moments of losing control and you may have witnessed much worse in the aisles of stores… but I couldn’t stop thinking about that phrase being said to someone; especially a child (over and over again)…”You’re not special.”
Many people say that phrase in various relationships; parents to their children, siblings to siblings, bosses to employees, or significant others to their partner’s. “You’re nor special”, can be said or thought for several reasons, but none of them are positive or conducive to having a great relationship. “You’re not special” means you are good with or without the other person, they can be replaced, they are bringing nothing of extra value that someone else can’t do. Can you imagine someone saying this to you? How many times did that child hear, “Your’re not special”? How many times have you said that or thought that about your partner?
The damage of saying it is… the child, partner, or employee will either become something in spite of you… leading to a more accomplished person riddled with insecurities and potential troubled relationships. Or, they will become nothing because of you. Of course, they have a choice in the matter… but so do you. Respect the power of your words and engage in construction talk as much as possible. Construction talk does not exclude teaching and sharing… everything will not always be sunshine and rainbows. There are times when you must share your feelings of unhappiness and disappointment, but for the purpose of building and strengthening not crushing and hurting. Focus on building others up, focus on their strengths, and their efforts. You will be surprised how they flourish… and how they care for you when they feel valued, safe, and respected. Share your thoughts at www.facebook.com/menevolvingnow/ Happy EVOLVING!!!
written by: Andre Young
