Trust… some would argue to be the most important building block in having and maintaining relationships. When trust is broken… you feel devastated, betrayed, violated, and like a fool. The rebuilding process is arduous and although you may forgive… you will never forget. But, what is trust… how do you define it? Webster’s Dictionary defines it as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Throughout my years as a therapist, marriage counselor, and head of You Evolving Now… I have found this traditional definition of trust to relate to YOUR belief, YOUR truth, and YOUR “should” of someone or something… often ignoring the obvious, the patterns, and the facts presented.
Yes… trust is important… but a more EVOLVED definition may be more appropriate. Instead of trusting people to be how you think they should be… perhaps you can trust them to be how and who they already are. If you pay attention to what people do, as opposed to what they say… you will easily find want you can trust. My best friend and I have been friends for over two decades. When we first met, he used to say he would be at my house at 8pm to pick me up. When he arrived at 10pm or 11pm… I was upset. The second and third time it happened… I was upset. One day we were out to lunch and he stated “I have to get to work”. I asked, “What time”? He responded, “2:00pm”. To my surprise, it was 4:30pm! At that point, I realized… this is what he does and who he is. I had choices… stop being friends, accept the friendship… know he’s going to be late and plan accordingly, make my own plans and we he arrives… he arrives. This example is not nearly severe as the issues you may be experiencing, but the principle is the same. Most people are not lying to you, if you simply look at their actions. YOU have the power to accept, address, or stop when enough is enough.
The point is… trust people to be how they are, not how you’d like them to be, or what you think you deserve. Once you see truth and EVOLVE trust… YOU have the power to make the necessary decisions for YOU, YOUR relationships, and YOUR life! Of course, there are some deceivers out there… and they are pretty good. Be careful not to blame yourself for being deceived… blame yourself for staying deceived. Share your thoughts at www.facebook.com/menevolvingnow/ Happy EVOLVING!!!
written by Andre Young
