I remember the good, the bad, and the ugly of my first promotion into Leadership like it was yesterday! I had the pleasure of working in a Mental Health Facility, and we had an incredible Team of diverse people and diverse professional superpowers. We were good friends, and most importantly, we did impactful work! I had just completed my Master’s Program and was up for the Supervisor Position to Lead my Coworkers. The “Good” was I was offered the promotion, and I felt extremely confident regarding my therapeutic skills. The “Bad” was… that wouldn’t be my job any longer! The “Ugly” was plentiful; as I argued to maintain that part of my job along with my new duties, which burnt me years later.
Going into or coming out of the interview, I never thought to brainstorm my Vision for the Team, preface the awkwardness of me being my friends’ new Boss, I failed to have initial 1-on-1 Meetings with each Team Member, and my Leadership, my role, and my authority were never introduced… uuuhhhggg! So, whether you’re about to experience this, were recently promoted, or are doing the promoting… how do you effectively navigate Leading your friends and old coworkers; enhancing not only your Leadership & Work/Life Harmony, but also theirs?
Lead Through Anxiety!
The key is threefold as it involves: 1. Your feelings and the feelings of each team member 2. “The Truth” about people and coworkers. 3. The importance of intentionally adding to your professional network!
Feelings!
I have four kids, ranging from 25 to 5-years-old, and I tell each of them their feelings matter; as they can teach us valuable lessons… however, the quicker they can get out of their feelings and into a plan, the better their life will be! The same is true for you as you’re promoted to Lead your friends and ex-coworkers.
You may feel overly excited and confident to start! You may have Success-Remorse; feeling bad you were promoted and someone else wasn’t. Perhaps you’re unsure your authority will be respected; therefore you either come on too strong or the opposite and hide in your office all day. Or, you feel nervous and unworthy, so you do nothing at all; staying in the weeds, not differentiating yourself, and still trying to be friends with your Team. I could go on, but you get the point!
The Truth!
Here’s the truth… some of your friends and ex-coworkers are happy you were promoted; not every Employee desires to advance and be in a Leadership Position. Some are excited for you; as they see your skill, your potential, the value you bring, and the effort you made to get there. Some of your friends and ex-coworkers may publicly or silently hate your guts for a while… “Who do you think you are!”. This can be for several reasons. Perhaps they were up for the promotion too, perhaps there were personality differences prior to your promotion, or perhaps they’re the “Resident Grouch” and it wouldn’t matter who got promoted! Lastly, some people don’t care at all and plan to do what they’ve been doing all along anyway.
Therefore, acknowledge your feelings:
- Why do you feel the way you feel?
- What’s true about your thoughts?
- What’s possibly untrue?
- What’s your plan?
Connections Matter!
Once you’re promoted, their may be a period of social uncomforatblity; as you just lost your peer group, the cubicle island gossip, and your Happy-Hour Crew! This can be a rough time; as it’s essential to communicate and connect with your Direct-Reports and Employees, but also not to blur the lines too much; especially in the beginning without the conversations and strategies I’ll share in a bit.
The good news is you have another peer group to get to know… your Co-Leaders in other departments within the organization and on social media (LinkedIn). This starts with intentional emails to say hello, share the best way for them to get in touch when they need something (Leader’s Blueprint), ask for theirs, attend meetings, attend new happy-hours or offer, engage in company events, stay connected post Leadership Meetings and Retreats, and use LinkedIn to connect in Professional Groups and with individuals worldwide who share your similar title!
Your Leader’s 3!
You’ve worked for the company for a while, you know the company’s mission, your familiar with your old job, and the day-to-day of your Team… then… what’s your Vision for your Team and the job moving forward? Too many times, a promotion is accepted and the newly promoted Leader who’s leading their friends have never thought of what’s next, what to improve, and they simply put their head down, being busy telling people what to do and putting out fires all day… that’s not Leadership!
Therefore, what’s your Vision for your Team? We will be the World’s Best at ______! Be mindful, your Vision is a starting point, not an ending point!
- What are your Vision Factors; the 3-5 things that when done consistently the Vision must come to fruition?
- What are your Expectations? Mine are The 3 P’s. I need everyone I work with, outsource, or are friends with to be Positive, Passionate, and Productive!
- What are your Rules? Mine are: Be on time, After 3-4 emails about the same thing = a mandatory phone call, and please accompany your problem with a suggested solution!
Remember, when you don’t know your Leader’s 3, how are they supposed to? Also, sharing this with your Boss during the interview process allows them to agree with your plan or fine-tune it; allowing you more protection and authority!
Preface Statement & 1-on-1’s!
Leadership isn’t for the faint of heart! Do you see the emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and preparation it takes… and you haven’t even mentioned actually speaking to your People yet?
Now it’s time to put it all together! I’ve found this flow to be best… first, ask for someone with a higher level of authority within the organization to formally introduce you as a Leader in front of your old friends and coworkers. It signifies the passing of a torch as they share why you were promoted, the good things about you, your Leader’s 3 (developed by you), and your authority span. Remember, some of your ex-corkers will love it, some will hate it, and some don’t care at all.
Next, schedule 1-on-1’s with your old friends and coworkers before implementing any changes; allowing you time to observe further, sit in meetings, familiarize yourself with new administrative tasks, attend new Leadership Meetings, and gain their perspective to potentially evolve your Leaders 3!
The flow of your 1-on-1’s will be:
Preface Statement! – This is an opportunity to state the obvious of how awkward the situation may be for both of you. “I’m glad we’re having this meeting. To be honest, it feels a bit awkward for me to be in this Leadership Role and it may be awkward for you as well. Some things will stay the same, and others will be a bit different, both professionally and personally. We can continue to _________, however we may not be able to _______ like we used to. Thank You for understanding and I’m excited for us to get started. You’re going to have a lot of wins and I/We will be sure to celebrate them. As with anything, there will be issues and I may have to ask some questions or say things that could be difficult to hear, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t; and it’s all for the purpose of us being great. Is that going to be OK? When I have questions or must address anything , how would you like me to come to you? Awesome, this is my Leader’s Blueprint (how it’s best to come to me with questions, venting, solutions, etc.)”.
P.O.W.! – Share that 1-on-1’s will start with their Positive of the Week. In the first meeting, you (The Leader) share professionally and personally, then offer the Employee to do the same or only professionally if they wish. Every meeting afterward, the Employee shares unless the Employee asks the Leader. I explain the benefits of this in other blogs.
Get Out of It? – Ask what they would like to get out of the meeting. I guarantee you don’t know what they’re going to say!
Mesh Goals! – This is where you share your Leader’s 3, ask about their Vision for working with you, what they really like about the job, what frustrates them most, what they’re currently working on, their big win for the next week or quarter, how you can help, identify their Working Style, and their Top two Professional Languages (from my Leader’s 7 Professional Languages of Leadership).
Plan! – Develop a plan of action with deadlines scheduled into work calendars!
Biggest Takeaway! – Conclude the 1-on-1 by asking their biggest takeaway from the meeting! You may be surprised by what they say!
Reveal Meeting!
Now it’s time to bring your entire Team together to reveal all you learned and what it will look like moving forward:
- Thank Them for all they do, have been doing, and their effort moving forward!
- Reveal what you learned: what they enjoy about their work, changes that will be made due to their feedback, your Leader’s 3, Goals, the plan, and how it positively impacts them, customers/clients, and the organization! It’s a NEW day!!!
You now know a bit more of what to do post-promotion; especially when expected to Lead old friends and ex-coworkers! What was your Biggest Takeaway? What will you apply NOW to enhance your Leadership & Work/Life Harmony and that of those you’re Leading?
“If you’re not listening, you’re not leading… Be Mindful!” – Andre Young
Written by: Andre Young
Help your Leaders & Employees feel more confident and competent in their roles; as they learn common sense and easy-to-apply concepts to use immediately! Click www.youevolvingnow.com to connect, chat, and customize an impactful Speaking Engagement or Training with Andre Young!
