We are all “Busy”… moving at the breakneck pace of the day, our jobs, our lives, and our Have-To’s before and after work. Our “Busy” may look different from other people’s “Busy”, but it’s always there… whether you’re running a business, you’re an employee, a parent, etc. Although your “Busy” may make you successful, by your definition, afford you the lifestyle you desire with a great paycheck, or simply allow you to make it through another day… The truth is, your “Busy” doesn’t plan on stopping! It won’t stop until WE decide to Stop it, Check It, and Change It! It’s important to be careful as that same “Busy” that brings you success, fulfillment, money, or identity will be the same thing that engulfs you making you feel it’s all you are, erodes your relationship and relationships, and puts you in the ground due to stress. So, what to do?
Permission to Pause!
I don’t mean a vacation. Vacations are nice and most of the time very well earned… but may not be what the doctor ordere; as planning them can be stressful and most of us tend to need a vacation from our vacation! Also, vacations may be futile if you’ve been neglecting your partner, your kids, and your family due to “Busy”. It can feel like going on an expensive trip with strangers… and by time you feel comfortable and adjusted, it’s time to return and let’s face it… the coming back process is never as good as or exciting as going! Then back to the treadmill, tons of emails, work, the house, and “Busy” is laughing at you as it begins to slap you in the face again!
When I say Permission to Pause… I mean setting aside time regularly to sit without the noise of life, think, and write in these 3 categories:
Vision
What’s your vision… your desired outcome and lifestyle in your 4 P’s and more; As a Person, a Parent, a Partner, Professional… as a son/daughter, a sibling, etc? It’s not enough to just be great at one role; neglecting the others as if they don’t matter or are less important.
“Get My Life Together Saturday’s”
Once you’ve clarified or re-clarified your vision, is what you’re doing daily working? It’s easy to get “Busy” doing the things that need to be done.
Are you doing things that are only running the day-to-day, or can you adjust to something more efficient, smarter, and that allows a greater impact to ensure better and ongoing results… this applies to our 4 P’s too… not just the one big goal you have at the forefront of our mind?
I call this… My “Get My Life Together Saturdays!”. My wife smiles as I occasionally tell her I need this day. One Saturday per month, I make time in my office to go over all I do and am doing for my business, the kids, our relationship, my family, and myself. Am I being “Busy” or “Better”? “Better” implies I am not spinning in circles simply trying to get things done, but rather a powerful system and forward-thinking ideas are in place or being brainstormed to move me, my family, and my business forward and ready for the next step to allow growth. This is the crux of permitting yourself to pause… without this concept, you’re only gearing up for the same-old rat race!
During this time, I use a notebook to write down every role I play that’s significant to me: a person, partner, parent, professional, son, brother, friend, etc. I then rate myself from 1-10 (ten being the best). Next, I ask myself what number I’m most proud of and why? What number am I least proud of and why? Then, I ask what it would take for me to move up a number or two in reach role. The answer to this question is powerful and typically, what you already know needs to be done… However we’ve been to “Busy” or in our “Emotion of the Minute” to do something different or better. The final step is deciding if you will DO all the things you’ve listed or select one or two to focus on.
The important thing to know is there’s no wrong answer! There are times when you have the emotional bandwidth to address all of the things you’ve written down. There are times when one or two things are all you can manage and are most significant or… those few things addressed correctly will indirectly impact the rest!
The cherry on top is what I call “The Get Great Question!”. Most people are willing to gear up to do SOMETHING about what they believe would take them up a number or two in a desired role… however, if the person receiving your effort needs something else from you… you’re effort is in vain and you will feel frustrated, rejected, and eventually have a professional or personal temper tantrum screaming something to the effect of, “Look how much I do!”. Therefore, “The Get Great Question” suggests asking the person… your boss, employee, partner, kids, etc… “What do you need most from me right now?”. This simple yet powerful question may make the skies part, doves fly, and the angels sing… as it’s the truth and the answer to how to get what YOU want is revealed!
Please know, the answer you receive may not be the answer you want to hear! A few things may happen here:
- They say an answer that’s easy for you to do… great!
- They say something you don’t agree with or you don’t want to do
- They say the dreaded, “Nothing, you’re fine” or “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
When you decide to ask the “Get Great Question”, you’re deciding to be a LEADER… and leaders listen and don’t fly off the handle when presented with information they’ve asked for or dismiss important information when presented! When the person’s response is easy for you to do, great! When it’s something to don’t agree with or don’t want to do… listen, consume it, decide if you can do a portion of it. When what they need is reasonable, doable, and fair for who you are and where you want to go… do the request a bit outside of your comfort zone, but not so much you wind up resenting them or the task. You can also decide to do nothing; and that’s also your decision to keep things the way they are without complaining any further!
Lastly, when you hear, “Just keep doing what you’re doing”… simply say, “Thank You, but I really do want to know. I’d like to ask you again later in the week (or is there a best time to schedule with you if it’s a boss), because I want to be great here and if the answer is the same, great!”. This allows the person time to think, prepare, and squelch any possible “Emotions of the Minute” on either side!
Continue/Stop/Start!
I enjoy this part of the Pause! Continue – You must be doing some great things to be where you are. Look around you… do you have shelter, people that enjoy you, not to mention… the ability to read this. Things could be a lot worse. So, continue what you’re are doing great!
Stop – What do you need to stop? We all engage in behaviors, whether as a Person, Parent, Partner, or Professional we would benefit from stopping. Stop the bad or unhelpful, continue the good, and START the big or tiny step to great!
Start – Many people interested in EVOLVING their lives tell me what they will stop something. That’s an awesome first step, but an incomplete plan that’s typically doomed to fail. The path is… Stopping something and replacing it with a positive and reasonable replacement behavior. So, what will you Start in your 4 P’s; allowing you to enhance your Leadership & Work/Life Harmony?
“Leaders listen and don’t fly off the handle when presented with information they’ve asked for or dismiss important information when presented!… Be Mindful!” – Andre Young
Click www.youevolvingnow.com to find out more about Andre Young’s Leadership & Work/Life Harmony Trainings, Speaking Engagements, Books, and more; evolving your organization, your leaders, employees, and teams!
