As a self-professed “Foodie”, I have a love-hate relationship with leftovers! Over the years, I’ve come to enjoy cooking and much prefer to make a few meals at the start of the week and select from my menu of goodness. I also happened to be married to the best cook and baker on the planet… and they’re certain foods that simply taste better the next day as leftovers; as the flavors need time to bled and pop! As good as leftovers can be, I don’t know many people that want to live off them. Yes, I’m grateful to have such a First-World problem with leftovers… but you must admit, there’s something special about an intentional meal that was made hot and ready just for you! Ok, enough with food, how does this apply to Leadership & Work/Life Harmony?
Professionally, you may be stressed to the max as you work to cross things off your list, meet deadlines, and put out fire after fire… at some point, your leftovers will not be enough to impact, influence, and protect your Team. Dragging yourself through the door or to that virtual call with little vigor, positivity, eye contact, or enthusiasm will eventually hurt those you’re leading, negatively impact production, and not allow you to sell your position to your People, your Kids, or Others! In your personal life… you can understand and empathize with your significant other being tired, exhausted, and beaten down by life’s current circumstances… however, at some point, receiving their love and attention leftovers will leave you unfulfilled. So, what to do?
Busy vs Intentional!
“Busy” is the new “B-Word”! Everyone’s busy… busy working, taking care of the kids and all their extra-curricular activities, or busy elbow-deep in a bag of chips binge-watching their favorite show. “Busy” is everywhere and it does has its positives. Professionally, “Busy” gets things crossed off the list, maintains revenue, and operates the day-to-day. However, this type of busy doesn’t fuel innovation, upgrades, and out-of-the-box-thinking, curiosity; which ultimately leads to evolution! Block Buster Video was “Busy”… Be Mindful!
Personally, “Busy” may get the dishes done, gets the kids to school and practices, cleans the house, and pays the bills… all necessary things! However, this type busy doesn’t allow love to flourish, relationships to grow and evolve; rather they stagnate and die… but the dishes and duties of the house were done, right?
Although “Busy” matters; Leaders don’t forget to be INTENTIONAL! Professionally, be intentional about your People, your Team as a whole, your Co-Leaders, and Bosses:
- Who are they at work and what roles do they play outside of work… a mother, a father, a parent of a Special Needs Child, a parent of a local sports star, a person caring for their elderly parent/s, someone that volunteers time to special causes, or a young 20-Something just starting out? I could go on, but you get my point!
- What do they enjoy most at work and what’s most important right now for them… and how can you help?
- What frustrates them most at work and how can you be of impact?
- What decisions have they made or tasks have they completed lately that stand out to them… how will you Thank them or celebrate them?
- Be mindful not forget the basics… greet them, say hello, and be sure to do the 3C’s… Celebrate, Collaborate, and Congregate!
Being intentional in your personal life and relationships will prove to significantly impact your Work/Life Harmony. Yes, it helps when your Partner, Kids, or Friends are willing to do the same; but as a Leader… control what you can control; and that’s you intentionality! Here are some questions to ask the people in your life to enhance your Work/Life Harmony… and theirs:
- What was the best thing about your day today?
- What was your biggest accomplishment today?
- How are you doing… really? And… as a Mom or Dad, Brother or Sister, with your Friends, as a Son or Daughter?
- What’s the best thing going on in your life right now?
- What’s the most important thing going on right now for you… and how can I help?
- What’s hardest or most frustrating right now for you… and how can I help?
- Yes, The 3C’s work here as well: Celebrate the people you say you love in this world… do something for them to celebrate their success on non-birthdays and non-holidays. Collaborate ideas without the high stakes emotions-of-the-minute conversations related to stressful situations. In my second book, 7 Ways to Love, I share the idea of Relationship Boardroom Meetings. Do you know how many meetings companies and Teams have in a day, week, month, and year in order to be successful? Too many, Lol! But in relationships, we have very few scheduled meetings to discuss life, our kids, the house, our future… and expect our random emotion-of-the-minute jabs while washing the dishes to create and maintain “The Magic”? That sounds crazy, doesn’t it?
Book It!
When you’re running on fumes and only have your leftovers to give, your People (at work and at home) tend to gets bits and pieces of you at random times… and let’s be honest; the slivers of conversation, mentoring, coaching at work… or the slivers of attention, time, and affection you’re providing is far from your best! But, you did it, right? WRONG! The same way you know your level of engagement was subpar… they know it to and will soon stop seeking it!
Therefore, “Book-It”! Busy professionals tend to do what’s in their schedule and in their calendar. Be sure to put your meetings, 1-on-1’s, visits to other departments or offices, or a simple walk through the office on your calendar with alerts to it. Your People, Teams, and Organization don’t know you scheduled it for yourself unless you do it the same time, every day, every month, and wear the same clothes when you do it. I find it best to schedule three months ahead, plan it with your people, and follow-through to enhance trust and impact!
Funny story, I was on a call with a Senior Executive discussing Leadership Training for her company. We were discussing this exact topic and she shared one day an Employee stopped her in the hallway one day and asked if someone was getting fired. The Executive was stunned by such an out-of-the-blue question and asked why they asked. The Employee said, “Because you have your blue suit on”. WOW, the Executive was so consistent that she arrived at their office wearing the same clothing every time she terminated someone. So, your People are more observant than you think… Book It, Switch It Up, and Enjoy!
In your personal life, Booking-It will prove to be the catalyst to the life and lifestyle you desire! I have four kids and run two businesses… I’m the least spontaneous person you know. Spontaneity to me is taking a walk around my neighborhood and stopping to have a random conversation with a neighbor… it’s refreshing and hits the spot. This doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my life; as Work/Life Harmony means the most to me. Due to my kids’ schedule, my work, and the travel I get to do… there’s little time for spontaneous events.
However, I’m sure to book and schedule time with my wife, my kids all together, my kids separately, with my family, my friends… and BY MYSELF. Over the years, I’ve gotten great at dating ME. I know what I like and am OK with making time and taking time to grab a cigar by myself, eat lunch by myself, I enjoy going to the shooting range, the gym, and a host of other hobbies. Also, be sure to set notifications in you phone and when the time scheduled time comes… don’t make excuses. You knew it was important when you scheduled it; so, follow-through and enjoy what you know is needed and good for you, your mental health, your future, and your life!
I’m writing this at the beginning of the summer and my 5-year-old doesn’t begin Summer Day Camp for three weeks… I love having our Daddy-Daughter Dates planned and in my calendar! It takes me back to my Recreational Activity Coordinator Days; my first job out of college… then working in schools and having summers to do the same with my older kids when they were her age. I love planning date nights with my wife… there’s nothing like a night out on the town with that woman. And to this day, I plan a hang-out date with my friends once per month. It may be as simple as a cigar, a breakfast, or something… and you can do the same!
The Win & The Plan?
This key is simple, but without it… you’ll be stuck being “Busy” instead of “Better! If you’ve been following along… you’re going to be intentional, booked time (professionally and personally), but now… what’s the win and the plan?
Professionally, have you ever sat in meeting after meeting and nothing’s happened; you feel beyond frustrated that you can never get those hours back? Hopefully, you’re not Leading meetings like this! The questions become:
- When I was being curious and intentional with my People and Team… What’s the desired win? What do I want to know and how do I plan to use this information?
- What would be a win for them professionally?
- What would they like to get out of our discussion or meeting today?
- What’s the plan moving forward? What’s the expectation? Who’s doing what? Who needs what? What’s the Deadline? This series of questions will turn 17 meetings into two or three; allowing clarity, traction, and evolution!
In our personal lives, emotions tend to run high when it comes to those we love! Let’s face it, no one can jump on that last nerve like the person and people you share space with outside of work. Therefore, it’s hard… but imperative to keep in mind what “The Win” is for you, what a “Win” is for them, and what an “Agreed Upon Win” would look like?
For me, “The Win” when engaging in conversations or sensitive topics in my personal life is to be the best husband, father, son, or friend I can possibly be… marrying what I want to do and give with what the person receiving my effort needs most from me at the moment… all the while respecting my boundaries in the process.
Sometimes, this works great! Other times, you may have to be OK with being the bad guy in someone’s story as you stick to your guns and maintain your boundaries and that’s OK… as long as both parties can say you were curious, empathetic, and respectful during the conversation.
Positive Follow-Through!
Remember, being willing to give your leftovers may seem admirable to you… but doesn’t always look or feel good to others. Therefore, what’s your plan to be intentional in your Giving, your Leadership, and your Work/Life Harmony? What’s a plan without follow-through? What’s follow-through without a sense of excitement and willingness to pull off the impossible, to create an experience, achieve a goal, and enjoy the process?
Positive Follow-Through, professionally and personally, is contagious and will flow through your Team and your Household! It breeds the pure definition of Leadership as it positively influences, impacts, protects, and maintains high standards and expectations!
You now know the 4 Keys to giving your People your all; while maintaining your sanity and Work/Life Harmony; what was your biggest takeaway? What will you start TODAY to enhance not only your Leadership & Work/Life Harmony… but also that of those you’re Leading?
“Busy” gets things crossed off the list, maintains revenue, and operates the day-to-day. However, this type of busy doesn’t fuel innovation, upgrades, out-of-the-box-thinking, and curiosity; which ultimately leads to evolution… Be Mindful!”
– Andre Young
Written by: Andre Young
Are you looking to impact your Organization, Leaders, Teams, and Employees with Leadership & Work/Life Harmony Trainings or a Speaker? Click www.youevolvingnow.com to connect, chat, and customize with Andre Young!
